“I’ll do anything except fundraising.”

If you’ve worked with a nonprofit board for very long, you’ve probably heard some version of that. It makes sense. Look at what board members have been taught fundraising is supposed to look like.

Give or get. Remember to make your annual gift. Will you sponsor a table? Here’s a list of names. Do you know anyone? How much do you think they could give? Will you introduce me?

This is normal fundraising. And normal is icky.

We’ve gotten so used to it that we don’t always see how strange it is. We start with what the organization needs. We need to raise this much money. We need everyone on the board to give. We need introductions. We need sponsors. We need people to fill tables. Then we look around and ask, “Who can help us?”

What if we started somewhere completely different?

We aren’t looking for donors. We aren’t even looking for money. We’re looking for people who have a reason to care.

People who want to see the same change in the world that we do. People who would be glad to know this work exists. People who enjoy being generous and want their money to accomplish something meaningful.

Instead of asking your board member, “Who do you know who could give?” ask, “Who do you know who would love this?”

That feels very different.

We do this naturally in the rest of our lives. We find a great restaurant and tell our friends about it. We buy a pair of shoes we love and immediately think of someone else who would love them too. We recommend books, doctors, vacation spots, and products all the time. 

We’re not trying to get people to do something they don’t want to do. We’re trying to help them find something we think they’ll enjoy.

Why should sharing a cause we love feel so much harder? One reason is trust.

A board member may know exactly who would care about your work and still hesitate to make an introduction. They may be wondering what will happen to their friend once they do. Will they get pitched? Will they have to sit through a presentation? Will they suddenly be on a mailing list? Will someone keep following up even if they’re not interested?

When a board member introduces you to someone close to them, they’re not just giving you a name. They’re trusting you with someone they care about.

They need to know you’ll be curious. That you’ll listen. That you’ll have their friend’s best interest in mind. That if there isn’t alignment, or it isn’t the right time, you’ll make it easy for them to say no.

One of my favorite things to say is, “I want to be your easiest no.” I want people to know there is no pressure here.

Of course, I hope they see what I see. Hope. Possibility. A solution. A mission worth participating in and investing in. But I want them to feel inspired, not required.

If we want board members to offer that kind of experience to people they know, we have to start by giving it to them.

So before year-end Giving Season gets underway, try this…

Take out a piece of paper for every board member and write their name at the top. Without looking at your database or board records, write down what you know about them.

Do you know why they chose to serve on your board? Do you know what was happening in their life when they joined? What do you know about their family, their work, and what a normal day looks like for them? What other causes do they care about, and why?

What do you know about their generosity? How do they typically make giving decisions? Is a spouse involved? An adult child? Someone at a family foundation? Do they use a donor-advised fund? Have you ever talked with them about non-cash gifts? Do they tend to give a little to many organizations or make larger gifts to a few? Is your organization one of the causes closest to their heart?

Then ask yourself a pretty simple question: How well do I actually know this person?

Whatever your answer, there’s more to learn.

Reach out and ask for a visit. Tell them you’re not going to ask for anything. You simply want to know them better.

Ask why they joined the board. Has it been the experience they hoped it would be? What do they enjoy? What frustrates them? How would they like to contribute beyond attending meetings? What would make the experience better?

And over time, learn the answer to a much bigger question than “How much could they give?”

What would they like to accomplish with their money that would be meaningful to them?

I’d also ask this:

“If this were your dream board experience, what would it look like?”

Afterward, write down what you learned. Then send them a handwritten note and tell them something specific you appreciated about the conversation.

Your board members are giving you their time, their attention, their experience, their relationships and their care. Treat them like cherished members of your nonprofit family. Stay in touch when you don’t need something. Let them know the good, the bad and the ugly. Let them feel seen and known.

Because when someone has a meaningful experience of generosity themselves, something happens. They want other people they care about to experience it too.

Generosity inspires generosity.
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Want to learn more? Register for our free webinar with Joanna and Infinite Giving's CEO & Founder, Karen Houghton, on Sept. 1, 2026, exactly 90 days before Giving Tuesday

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Joanna Hogan is the founder of Inspire Generosity and creator of DREAMS®. For more than 25 years, she has worked across philanthropy, executive leadership, education, and organizational strategy.

‍Her career has given her a close view of both sides of the giving relationship. She has built long-term relationships with generous individuals and families, worked with foundations, led major and planned giving, taught boards and leaders, and served as a college president through a complex institutional transition.

Across those experiences, Joanna became increasingly interested in a question that now sits at the heart of her work: What helps generosity move, and what causes it to stall?

Inspire Generosity grew from that question and from a conviction that generosity flourishes when relationships are grounded in trust, authenticity, and shared purpose.

Today, Joanna’s work is increasingly focused on family philanthropy and philanthropic strategy, while continuing to help leaders and funders create the conditions where generosity can move.